Self Asesment Preasessment

Tomorrow is assessment, big panic for most, however I am not in a panic. Why? Well that’s simple, I know I haven’t done all the work but even if I had done all the work, I have not done enough work. I realised this as I was painting with acrylics a few days ago. I paint like a child.

Why do I paint like a child in acrylics? Simple, I have not progressed with painting, since I was a child, which was the last time I had used them. I’ve decided that I have to paint atleast once a day, I’ve been quite happily painting in my kitchen while I make my dinner of days. Making an acceptation for it, even though I have a lot of other work, Ive found a weak spot and am trying to correct it.

Wait, why haven’t I progressed with painting since than? Simple, I haven’t done any since than. Thus, like a capsule of the past, I haven’t grown from when I was a child. It’s quite humbling and rather charming, I also feel the same when I see an adult draw like a child. Its not that they can’t draw, its because they haven’t drawn. I’ve also asked why I haven’t become a better artist since last year, the answer is obvious. There is no reason why I should not not the artist I want to be yet. But yet I am not half the artist I want to be. It seems to always be just out of reach, I always question why. But the obvious is usally the hardest to see. Its like your nose, its always there, you can always see it, but at the same time you don’t, your mind blocks it out.

Why havn’t I done all the work? Just the same as everyone else who hasn’t, a lack of devotion to becoming the artist I want to be, not to the course. In a sense the course is just a boat, where as I have to swim to where I want to be, the boat can only take me so far. Distractions are easy and offer an empty reward. Where as studying is hard and offers reward in the future. I’m a patient person, I like waiting for that reward as I know It will be sweeter than any other. But Im weak and there for opt for distraction. That’s why I havnt done as much work as I should.
The only real option for me is to rid myself of all distraction. I’ve been socialising a fair bit, which may have added to my lack of progress. Im not saying its bad that I’ve socialised, I was once a very bitter, depressed person, still being so, but a lot more relaxed about it, it was a good thing. Maybe I should have balance the two better. I don’t really care for playing games or listening to music, so why do I? Im not huge on going out and parties, so why do I? Why should I do things I don’t like? My work isn’t where I want it to be, so what am I going to do?

I digi-paint alot of things by my desk. Its just easier than moving my pc.

I shouldn’t have taken this long for me to realise what I had to do. The fucking work. And than some more.
Im going to do more than what is simply asked of me and its going to count.
After all, its what I want and its what I have to do to get it. I'll stop being a little pussy and take it. The only good quality I have is when I say I'll do something, I do it.

Task 6

Task 6
It seems that most game journalists or reviewers can be attacked by all sides, but the game developers, their peers and by the audience they’re trying to win over. The internet surely doesn’t help the game review magazines, which are basically just buying guides, but is a god send for any Indy game producer, but well get into that later. New game journalism is a good thing, without it we would not know what games are coming out when and if they suit your personal preference of games. They’re basically creating a stir, some games that may not have grown to be popular may have never seen the light of day. New Game Journalism is probably one of the best ways for a new game designer to properly promote their game, with little expense.
Personally, I remember buying game magazines as a kid and they did in fact persuade me to buy one or two games I really enjoyed. Although I wasn’t interested in the rest of the games, its understandable that they have a broad market to sell to. This however was back in the 90s and early 00’s, when internet game reviews were not huge. Back than I believe it really did help sell games to large audiences. My mind frame when buying it was; “I have enough money for one game, I want that game to be a good one.” And magazines helped me with that choice. However now I often just look through gamespot.co.uk and look at the score. I know I shouldn’t, but I do, mainly because all of the text review is dribble, just one persons view of the game. Even when you look at the comments, its just “ I like this game “ or “ This game is shit “, which simply doesn’t help anyone. Everyones view of a game is different, from the journalist to the gamer who plays it. No one knows if you will enjoy a game, they only know what they like and hope you’ll like something similar, its like trying to find a decent prostitute girlfriend, you can never really tell if you like it until you buy it. Than if you don’t sell it to someone else or throw it in the bin.
The main problem with NGJ is that its human and you cant have a robot or android rate a game. Mainly because a human would have to program it to know what games are good. So no matter what you read or do or review, don’t forget the human element that the person reading is not the writer. Basicaly, any kind of journalism is never %100 accurate, so take everything you read with a pinch of salt, or in my case a spoon.
I don’t know how I feel about my own writing. I try to write how I would usually speak, or think in my head. I think that’s the best way to write, but obviously schooling tells you this is wrong and I should write everything exactly the same as everyone else, a brief understanding is all that’s needed I feel. Hay, AtlEasT 1 don’t Tlaksa lhej tis! That’d be terrible. I have been told that I write like a girl in instant messenger. That was from someone WHO TLKS LIK DIS. So either every male types like a retard or I when I had all those nose bleeds last month that was just me menstruating from my nose, who fucking knows.