I've been thinking about my critical studies group a bit. Talked it over with a few other students.
The wierd thing is, I talk to just about everyone in my critical studies group indepenantly. Admitedly some are less talkative than others, thats fine. But when we're in a group, with a tutor asking questions, there is always an odd silence. I dont see why. Maybe theyre intimidated by Mike? Or maybe the feel that If they are wrong they will be scolded, or seem stupid, or unfit for the course? Or maybe Im completely wrong and they are just about to awnser or theyre thinking about the awnser?
I always try to break the silence, even if I dont know the awnser (More than often I'll have a sketchy idea of the awnser, but not be correct.). I dont have much fear of being wrong. I'll gladly give a wrong awnser if it gives someone the chance to give the right one. But the question is why dont they awnser if they knew the correct awnser? There are other problems to be giving the wrong awnser, I can easily do it to every question given and not feel embarresed. There are an infinate number of wrong awnsers to correct, with those odds its understandable. But if I do, It would seem like I know nothing. It would also seem like that if I gave no awnser at all. So perhaps Im losing nothing by awnsering. If I awnsered to every question, I would imagine everyone would be annoyed with me for tryin to awnser. So why dont they awnser more confidently if they know the awnser? If a nucular misslie was about to launch and they knew the code to deactivate it, would they wait untill someone punches in the wrong code before pausing and entering the correct one? Probably not, but I'd like to see that.
There's nothing wrong with being wrong, I feel. It just shows that theres something you dont know.The more you know, the more you know you dont know.
Sure, maybe I'd give the correct awnsers if I read more and watched more and thought more. Somehow doing this stresses me out alot more than just doing the work. The good thing about critical studies is that I think about these things more. Even though Im still confused about most things.
Only 3 first years (including me) showed up. And even than, only I drew. (With the exception of some second years.) I didnt see a single third year with a sketchbook. I saw them with drinks, quite happily talking to eachother in a large group. Even though they didnt set out to what they had wanted. (A sketch off) They were still talking away to each other. Something the first years have never achived. Considering there is a chance I could work with any one of these people in the future, I would like to know and talk to them. I try to get people on board with what Im doing every now and again by word of mouth. But more than often they're simply not interested, or they say they are and than show no further interest, ask no questions or not tern up; now I've simply stoped asking. This wasnt to everyone ofcorse, so maybe I should start asking again, but a broader range of people. Hell, I probably seem like a wierdo to all of them, but if you dont ask you will never know. And not asking is worse than asking and being let down.
Not to mention the blogs, I feel like a moron for not writing more. I was never one to write. Maybe I need some sort of structure to my week, I still feel quite disorganised.