Referance Database

I remember back to last year when I was told to make a " Cool shit " folder. And no one could manage to keep those two words together. I think I called mine the " crap " folder. And thats cool, because some of it was shit.
But than I realised all reference is good reference, after that, I started to collect cool and interesting photos from around the internet, and just in general as I go. Along with textures and whatever else.

There are folders within folders within folders.

And since than I've gathered 7GB worth of cool stuff. And I have found myself using them quite often.
Sometimes I'll save an image just so I can do a photostudy of it at a later date. (More than often)

Other times I will use multiple images to make a new image. Or just the silhouette of a woman's shape, hair or face, to make my own image out of it.

Sometimes I just like to save cool motorbikes and stuff.

 

There are better high quality photos in my database, however, these ones are just funner. I think Ill be collecting these thigns for a long time now. Also there is no Cat folder. As I can just search for anything on the internet to find those.

Task 13 and Paranoia in Public

Now officially a Second year I can look upon my last year and say how good or bad it was. I think it was neither, some grey in-between, its either black or white and i was somewhere in the middle. I had a good start to last year.
Over the summer holidays my productivity rose to new hights and my quality of work in 3d and 2d came with it.

Although my work on these projects had to be cut short, I am still pleased with some of the progression made. My first high to low bake and my first 15k character.
The problems I will and already have began to face this year are responsibility and sacrifices that need to be taken into account. At the moment, I have not sacrificed anything in order to spend more time working, over the past year I have gained many friends which I once had not had and am grateful for. However this also cuts down on the time I can work, I would not like to cut the amount of time I spend with them out at all, so I will have to find other enjoyment to cull. This is primarily, reddit, drunkenness, maybe even documentaries. All things I do enjoy, but are not needed. I almost wish I could stow away and work with no other worldly distraction, but than my work would be dull and lifeless as the moons surface.

The start of my new year has not gotten off to a running start, as I was at fast pace during the summer, untill I had to move, upon which my speed as been reduced to a walk. I think I will continue to walk for the next day or so (A littlel earthly pleasure, before I change the definition of pleasure), than begin a race towards my goal.

I also feel Ive become some what more bitter of recent, this is probably due to a lack of interaction with others over the summer, takes a while for me to get back into the people mood.

My goal for this year, to gain an internship, to visit and draw at every coffee shop in Leicester, to push myself.

Paranoid in Public.

Over the years as I draw people out and bout, coffee shops, pubs and clubs. I have noticed a strange almost paranoid feeling from those I draw and at times, I almost feel as if I shouldn't watch others in public, or even see them as I am trying to do through drawing. The feeling from many can almost make the work of drawing seem almost voyeuristic, but not in the sexual sence, its as if these people are in a bubble, in the public world but in a thin bubble of which ones glance is intruding into their world.
Let me explain.
In order for me to draw people in life, as they are, I need to draw them as they live, not as they pose or want to be portrait, but how I see them at the moment. So I will draw publicly and attempt to capture their life through my eyes, which is difficult if they were just sitting still at the very least.
Others do not share this mind set. Its almost as if the public, should be as private as ones own home.

Lets use example.
A few years ago, I decide to draw a family (a mother, father, two daughters and a son). No harm there. I watch them from a distance not to disturb them. One of the daughters notice me watching them and begins to freak out.
Now a freak out is how I describe someone whos actions become extremely agitated, sharp head movements, worried facical expression, whispering, pointing and sudden abrupt leaving... Oh and this is a good one, communication to others at the table with phones. (Parinoid behaviour in my books.)
Suddenly the father decides to talk to me and see what Im doing, which is fine, this isnt about people seeing my work, so I will stop there.
What I am interested in is why that girl freaked out.

Recently, a flatmate told me that her sister had recently felt " creeped out " by a man drawing her in a coffee shop in London not 2 months ago. Interested I bothered her with more questions. It seemed like this man was just drawing. But to her sister, he was " Weird " "creepy ". So the freak out was over appearance and that such a person with such appearance was looking upon her. If the description of the male was " attractive ", "cute" it would be a much different story.
So. Is the the reason for the freak out. No. What runs through the mind of someone who is being watched? " Why is this person looking at me ", " What are they doing ", " What do they want ", " Who are they. " ext.
I question, "Why do they care?".

This person is in a public place, in a world over ran with people. These people spend time and effort, making themselves look presentable, to go out into the public world. Some women take hours to get ready to leave their private domain. Im assuming they get ready and leave so people will see them, among their daily tasks.
So theres a catch 22 or whatever its called. People want to be seen and noticed. But they dont want to be seen or noticed it would seem through the eyes of an artist. But what annoys me, is they spend this time, they want to be seen and noticed, but when someone watches them for more than just a passing glance, they freak out, or begin to question why someone else is looking upon another person. Do they think I should process every characteristic of that person in just a glance, they may be able to do that, but it takes me alot longer. I'd rather be able to see the seams of a persons boot or the earing a person is waring for longer than a millisecond. So my question is why wont people let some appreciate others for simply being alive, it seems alien to me.
In some places in england, if you look at a someone for longer than a glance, they consider it a threat, questioning ones reasons for simply noticing their assistance. Looking at someone for longer than a glance, some consider flirting, and either freak out or flirt.

Ive also recently figured out why people notice you at all. People need constant stimulation. If what they are stimulated by ( a conversation ) becomes uninteresting, they will begin to glance across the room, for other things to stimulate their minds. From watching others, Ive noticed the type of people who will enjoy their companionship so much they will not notice whats going on around them, and those who are pretending to care, but never stop looking for something more interesting than the person sitting next to them. And whats more interesting than someone you know nothing about, looking at you, with a book.
I could conclude it here, people freak out, because they are bored. Ive also noticed, those that get bored talking to others, often have repetitively boring appearances, the blad man with glasses and laptop, the female fasion students, the business students (theyre easy to point out).
Theres much more on this subject, I always muddle it around in my head, so its harder to get out in text.
Lets just say, how I see it is; If a person is in public, they shouldnt feel afraid to be seen. And hell, Ill probably pay more attention to that person more than anyone else in the room/street.

A thing about machines

(The title of this entry is due to the amount of The Twighlight Zone (1960s) Ive been watching, great stuff. And this post feels like a result of crossing the boarder into said zone. If only I had noticed the sign post up ahead.)

I spent a good 3 hours, maybe 4, drawing away in photoshop today. Not like the usual day, of drawing still lifes and photo studies. Today, I was going to draw from imagination, a head, and construct it and illustrate it, but more importantly, document my progress. And I did, and I was happy. I had my canvas in one panel and the progress in another. Everything was running fine. From sketch > block > colour >ext. Up untill i wanted to edit a little bit of saturation. I saved the original once, but not the progress you see. Its rare, but it happens, photoshop obviously crashed. Now, this would be fine in any other drawing, my originals fine, but I didnt want the original. I needed the progress. The idea was to show my progress and get tips on each part of the progression. I know Im going to get stuff wrong, but I need to know, WHERE and WHEN im getting it wrong, so I can eliminate it at its source. Instead of later on.

This is the last stop in the drawing. I got fed up trying to catch up to the last point. But you know what, I remember saying to myself " haha, I bet Photoshop will crash, like 3ds max does whenever Im on a roll ", but I just laugthed it off. And quite like entering the Twighlight zone, my drawing looks like shit to me.

Mary sugested I go and backtrace my steps on the drawing. To which I replyed:

In other news, I've grown fond of Audio books. I got Mortal engins on audio audio book and listen to it while I work. Finaly I can hear the books ive wanted to read, while continue drawing at the same time, its win win.

Some nice reads

It's always good to share.
So I thought I'd post some good articles that are quite sobering yet inspiring.

Chris Moeller's 5-years-after-art-school
http://muddycolors.blogspot.com/2011/05/life-after-art-school-five-years-to.html

An interview with Feng Zhu
http://vimeo.com/16061516

How to become a better artist:
http://connyart.blogspot.com/2011/06/how-to-get-good-at-art.html

Modern Art and why it hinder's artistic progress in culture and teaching.
http://www.artrenewal.org/articles/Philosophy/ArtScam/artscam.php

Colour theory indepth
http://www.huevaluechroma.com/

Isometric Perspetive drawings. Technical drawings
http://www.khulsey.com/illustration-tutorials.html

Elements of Perspetive (Long reading)
http://www.handprint.com/HP/WCL/tech10.html

Great Listens

 Why you need to fail

Blitz Mock Interview

Finally I get to post, no thanks to blogger being down.

A few days ago there was a Mock interview, upon which John (A 3rd year) was being interviewed for a environment artist job. This wasn't the real deal, but to give us insight on how to go about the interview stage, when we leave university.
This was Blitz's first shot at Mock interviews and hopefully, not their last (I'm hoping for one every two or so years, that would be cool).

What began to appear to me during their interview is what can go easily wrong in the stages of interview and how to avoid them if they arise. Its not just about quality of work (although it is the bulk of the deal.), its also about personality, knowledge of subject and passion of subject.

I some how managed to ask stupid questions and got gun downed for it. How should I have known master bating is the worse thing you could do in an interview? Well now I know. But to be honest, I didn't get a proper response to my questions and a few other didn't either, I guess I need to be clearer in my approach to questioning. That's one of the things that I think I will need to work on, my approach to things and I should defiantly know my shit before asking stupid question.

Would I have been able to pass the interview stage at this point?

The other big deal popping up in my mind is specialization. Ive been hearing this left right and center. Allot of people seem content with what they want to do or become. Where as I have only just started to realize what I want to become, and its probably not much different from what I wanted to be when I started the course. I've tried to get a strong interest into environments, trying hard to get the feel for them, however every time I try, I tend to lean towards characters and props, creatures and what not. Its becoming more and more clear to me that I'm interested in characters and small things, as apposed to environments, maybe because its currently my strongest point. Which means I have to study on my environments anyway.
Its all too confusing.

Well I still have allot to think about and a good amount of time to think about it. So I guess I'll leave it there.

6 Months on

Shades of Satan, Superman! Its already been 6 months.

Its good, and bad I feel. The course is only 6 months, and Im still in Leicester for another 3. So for the next 3 months I have to teach myself some things, and than over the summer, teach myself some more. I'd much rather be given a ton of briefs, theyre fun, I've been enjoying deadlines.
Happily enough, I met all my deadlines when they were given, sometimes weeks before the deadline, so Im not flopping about like a fish out of water trying to get everything done. Ofcorse I could go back and rework my submitions before final hand in, however theres no point turd polishing and I'd rather do a bunch of studies than finals and instead do finals of things that interest me, things I'd like to stick in a portfolio.

Anyway, have I decided what I would like to be yet? My first post I said I wanted to be a Conceptartist or a Lead Artist, but leaving myself open for change. And to be honest that hasnt changed a bit, I still am not sure what I want. I do however know I enjoy 2D art more than 3D. I do however really enjoy 3D and probably would like it just as much if i did asmuch 3D as I do 2D. So theres my biggest problem.
But now summers here, I get the same feeling I get every summer; " TIME TO DRAW, DRAW, DRAW ", all I want to do right now is draw and get better. It happens every year.

Have I improved over the past 6 months? Well lets take a look at some work from september, 2010.

The first being a Character of the week from Concept Art and the second being a still life from the first day I came here.


And recent work from 2011?

And now My bradgate final and a still life of a cola bottle.

I think I've improved a little bit in the past 6 months. Not enough though, but than again I see themost improvment in my work over the summer. So I really got to whip myself into shape.

What about my 3D work?
Cant bare to post my first model (A stupidly high polly can).

Lets just say I can make stuff now without my brain exploding.


So in total. Only a little improvment, but hey, its alot better than nothing. I've learnt alot and thats showing in my work. Just need to get rid of bagage and relearn everything again and again. Eitherway, my work load has spiked, so that must be a good thing.

The Help Clinic

A small review of my thaughts on the "clinic" we set up today.
I spoke to mike on facebook a while back, telling him that the amount of people asking for crit and tutorials has risen sharply since assessment. Usualy with comments like " I need to learn this otherwise I will fail the course.". So Mike sugested we set up a tutorial session, for some reason we called it a "clinic" as we couldnt find a better name.

Anyway, the idea was that we would ask what people were stuggeling with and get people who know how to do it to explain it.
Mike would handle 3D, going over smoothing groups, typology, unwrappping, and uv efficiancy.
I would give tips on photoshop and a over view on perspective, ramble on about crap ext.
And Alexander would give us some tips on drawing and modeling in sculpy/cley.
Oh and at the end Inez gave us a view of how she unwarped her character and painted her difuse textures.

We got a relitivly decent tern out. The biggest problem was I was relying on Thomas Krikham's laptop (which has 3dsMax and Photoshop on it with tablet), which he said he would supply. This seemed like a really good idea to me as this would force him to come to the event, esspecialy as he seems to need alot of help on a wide range of subjects. He seemd very enthusiastic about it. However he went home on Wednesday and wont be back untill next Monday. This however was not told to me, dispite me living in the same dorm rooms. Anyway, this pit fall, ment we spent the most of the morning, downloading 3DsMax. Great.

While we waited I gave a quick tutorial on how to draw bricks in perspective. Which wasnt so bad, I think people understood me that is. Kept it simple. Although because the tablet driver wasnt installed properly, i couldnt do some decent rendering of the bricks.

I learned a couple bits and bobs from Mike and found some nice new buttons to take advantage of in 3DsMax. I think how things are smoothed together was the most helpful for me at the moment.

After lunch, I think I spent an hour and a half talking about how to render in photoshop, the difference between layer masks, loading custom brushes, making them, how i worked on a still life (techkoma) and briefly about drawing metal and glass. I was really tired by the end so my explanation was bland and my example was of poorest quality. I pretty much said " Glass and metal reflects everything around it, so youre drawing a bent reflection " orsomething like that and if they wanted to know how to paint metal and glass to simply set up a still life and paint it. Its the only way I understood it after all. Me winged unreferanced metal poll was ofcorse, crap.

I think I saw a few people taking notes in places, so hopefully, it was worth it for them. I dont mind spending my time for people who show up at all. Just think that I bored them a bit.
Not to mention, the experiance was good for me talking infront of people, although I was sure I would get some confrentation when I said that there was no perspecitve in nature, its quite a bold statement, even if it is true.

South Gent Studios and Emailing other artists

I got in contact with Beau, one of the people I worked with in 2009-2010, yesterday having a chat about how his project is going and if there are any other projects coming up.

The gentlemen has been in production a good while now. Started working in 2009, as ive said. When it comes to management, I was told they learned from their mistakes when making this game, as it was their first. I remember making about £3-£10 making various sheets like this:

I made tons of them over the summer, way over the hundreds. My work flow was brutal, but I was having so much fun making them. I remember not having to design concepts. The breif was pretty much " Make what ever you want, but like a 2D puppet". I even had to go back a year later and redraw their main character, and all the armors and weapons I had previously drawn. It was good because I was getting the first sort of pinch or reality. Id give my work in, get feed back, get my work back, work on it, give it back and eventualy get paied for it. When It came to monsters it was a little bit more relaxed. I think what they did was get me to produce a ton and than just cherry pick. Seems understandable.

Anyway, I asked about future projects and I was told that he would deffinatly use me for the next project. Hell, I am pretty cheep. I kind of whored myself saying I'll do any artwork again, it is a 2D game once more, more in the Zelda/ Alundra style. So im goign to have to up my game. I was than told about their current concept artist.

http://www.jamesngart.com/
I've had no real contact with the others who have worked on that project, so I thought I would drop him an email and ask him what he thought of my portfolio so far, his experiance of the games industry and so on. As we've worked on a similar project and hes had more experiance, I thought it was a good idea. To be honest I think it was. I got some decent feedback.

Hi Tristan,

Thanks for taking your time to write me. I looked at your portfolio and your paintings are quite nice!
I can offer a few suggestions to improve upon. I think you need to keep in mind the reflected light cast by the sky or anything behind the object. For example in Nonobot, you already have the sense to use the blue of the sky as reflected light but I think you can push it more to turn the object a lil more. Another thing is texture in your paintings. the smoke/dust should have some texture so should the rocky cliffs. Last thing that would help any artist, including myself, is more research and reference. The man in the beetle inspired armor is a cool idea, but I think it falls a bit short because the beetle armor just looks kind of made up... For example, painting something like a door knob. Everyone thinks they know what a doorknob looks like, but without actual reference, you miss the details and lines that make the object so recognizable.

Oh one more thing is to work on your rendering of human skin... something I am horrible at, so I have no position to critize, but Im just saying this because I know its one of the hardest things to paint. Try to layer your colors for skin instead of just using a flesh tone and adding shadows/highlights. What I mean by layer is try to think about the skin translucency on diff parts of the body. The nose, cheeks, fingertips should have a red undertone. A male's face around the facial hair area should have a green undertone, even if shaved, there are bits of hair underneath the skin. The elbows and knuckles and knees should be a bit darker. etc.

Sorry if i wrote alot on what i think to improve on. Its easier to see what to improve on when the artwork is already good, so bits that are missing stick out. Meaning i think your artwork is good : )

As far as freelance goes, keep promoting yourself, right now you are first year, Id say concentrate on improving your craft for the next 2 years and dont worry about anything else. Build your portfolio in junior/senior year and also seek internships and networking. You should aim to finish your schoolwork 3months before grad, and use those 3 months to promote yourself like crazy... whoring yourself almost. Send out promos to potential clients, enter contests, books, submit your stuff to magazine showcase, attend conventions etc etc. Promotion goes a long way. and of course a proper website will right away make you look more like a pro.

Good luck!

Best,

James Ng
Freelance Concept Artist & Illustrator

I emailed him back saying thank's and Ill drop him an email again in my 3rd year. Either way. Handing my work to someone with more experiance, whos currently working freelance was a bit daunting, but now I've done it I feel alot more confidant I can do it again.
Ofcorse, first I need to improve my skills and make some stuning work.
He's right about me focusing on my work, but a little promotion here and there will help me in the long run I feel.
The goal for my summer is not to play games, but to make some top notch work for my portfolio.
Im going to whore my portfolio at EuroGamer.

The rush of getting things done in time. + Tattoo Convention

Assessment is quite literally, tomorrow. All I hear from people is " Ill have this finished by.. " " Im working on.. " " Ill get all the blogs done next week. ". I see nothing wrong in being a little behind. Hay I've been a little behind on bits and bloggs. It all comes down to how one manages their own time. As a student, most of us (and me) are terrible at it. The biggest problem with trying to catch a deadline is the work is rushed and far from the quality necessary. Sound familiar? The same shit happens in the game industry, i've learnt. Its generally the same, but just a taste, were not being paid and we dont have a thousand people asking us to finish it for whenever.

My biggest peeve at the moment is the deadline being treated like some kind of pole vault. Like, the closer they get to the deadline when they finish their work is some kind of achievement. I cant stand the smug act when they finish it. " I managed to finish this week project in less than a day " as if its some kind of achievement.

Wow look how close to the deadline I got.
Give me an award!

I guess Im just bitching, but it is damned annoying. I dont care that they finished their work next to a deadline, they should have finished it ages ago. Its annoying how it somehow seems more praisable than having something finished on time. " Oh wow I just finished this and the deadlines tomorrow Im so happy " compared to " Oh wow I finished that the week it was set. I was so happy. ", just sounds odd, no? I am complaining yesh. But I dont see why anyone should care, do they exspect me to lean over and say " Hay, you did this so close to the deadline and spent far less time on it than I did on mine when I had the time, it suddenly makes your image a million times better. ".

This may seem like im slagging alot of people off.
But really, I think anyone in the games industry would be pissed off if this pole vaulting deadlines happened in their company. Than the artist (or whatever) had the nerve to say that they had started and finished their project in a just a day before hand in when they had a week to do it in., expecting some kind of cookie for being so great. I dont think they would give a rat's arse. So why should I here?
Im probably still going to just say " yeah thats great " to whoever decides to be a smug shoe about it.

More like 50 artists, there was only 25 stands.

Also I checked out a tattoo convention yesterday. I cant get tattoos or piercings due to a medical condition. Well, my doctor says I shouldnt in case of blood infection. So me going there wasnt quite worth the £8 entrance fee as the only point of going there was if you were getting a tattoo. I however got the chance to look through a bunch of tattoo artist's portfolios and take a gander at their illustrations.
Among all artists I noticed a familiar trend in illustrations, you would have:
1) The Japanese Koi fish. The first time I saw this I was impressed, the scales looked like fun to draw and sometimes their paintings and colours were interesting. (I asume this tattoo is for women who want to have a splash of oriental mystery about them. As this is a western country, not to be racist or anything. But Westerners do like the eastern style, just as the Eastern likes the Western.) I also asume this is guided to Females. Girls like fish, right?

There are a million similar images to this on Deviantartt.

2) Skulls. How many variations of the human skull can you have? Well go to a tattoo convention and look through 25 artists portfolios and you will find out. Representing death, its stupidly cliche, so I can see how its best to try to edit it to make it interesting. Someone getting one of these would probably think " This will show people that I'm not a regular person, Im on the bad side mother fucker. ". This seems to be a genderless tattoo, stick skulls on anything and itll work.

Wee skulls are fun woo.

3) Women (Naked, sexual, or just general female). This is obviously for wierd pervy men that want to prove to others that they are wierd pervy men.

Yeah there were exceptions to these. But few, and every artist had these. And when I looked at it, I thought the same about the game industry and my portfolio. Its packed with the same clichee bull shit, clogged more like it.
But the artist are giving the people exactlyy what they want. Koi, Skulls and tits. Isnt that the same as the game industry giving everyone guns, swords and tits? But also stangely enough I didnt see anyone getting any of those tattoos on the day. Instead they were getting what they requested. Interesting I though.

Not to mention alot of the tattoo artists work was DeviantArtt material, shit. Every now and again you'd get a good one.I really should have taken photos, but I felt kind of intimidated.

I think I should take a good look at my portfolio, edit it, and than go to some conventions, maybe that are more suited to my industry of choice.

Critical Studies and The social interatction of the first years.

I've been thinking about my critical studies group a bit. Talked it over with a few other students.

The wierd thing is, I talk to just about everyone in my critical studies group indepenantly. Admitedly some are less talkative than others, thats fine. But when we're in a group, with a tutor asking questions, there is always an odd silence. I dont see why. Maybe theyre intimidated by Mike? Or maybe the feel that If they are wrong they will be scolded, or seem stupid, or unfit for the course? Or maybe Im completely wrong and they are just about to awnser or theyre thinking about the awnser?

I always try to break the silence, even if I dont know the awnser (More than often I'll have a sketchy idea of the awnser, but not be correct.). I dont have much fear of being wrong. I'll gladly give a wrong awnser if it gives someone the chance to give the right one. But the question is why dont they awnser if they knew the correct awnser? There are other problems to be giving the wrong awnser, I can easily do it to every question given and not feel embarresed. There are an infinate number of wrong awnsers to correct, with those odds its understandable. But if I do, It would seem like I know nothing. It would also seem like that if I gave no awnser at all. So perhaps Im losing nothing by awnsering. If I awnsered to every question, I would imagine everyone would be annoyed with me for tryin to awnser. So why dont they awnser more confidently if they know the awnser? If a nucular misslie was about to launch and they knew the code to deactivate it, would they wait untill someone punches in the wrong code before pausing and entering the correct one? Probably not, but I'd like to see that.

There's nothing wrong with being wrong, I feel. It just shows that theres something you dont know.The more you know, the more you know you dont know.

Which is a pain in the ass, because Im seriously forgetfull and have to relearn everything I forgot a day or two ago.
Sure, maybe I'd give the correct awnsers if I read more and watched more and thought more. Somehow doing this stresses me out alot more than just doing the work. The good thing about critical studies is that I think about these things more. Even though Im still confused about most things.

My year seems to not be a very social year, we've made no social events even though there have been many birthdays been and gone. We seem to have fallen into small groups, very small groups. I'd rather not be in any group, although I feel as if I have fallen into one. I would like to do some large drawing events with the others on the course in my year, but I dont think anyone would care. Such as, the third years offered an event where they would do some drawing, a "Sketch-off" was planned at a pub.
Only 3 first years (including me) showed up. And even than, only I drew. (With the exception of some second years.) I didnt see a single third year with a sketchbook. I saw them with drinks, quite happily talking to eachother in a large group. Even though they didnt set out to what they had wanted. (A sketch off) They were still talking away to each other. Something the first years have never achived. Considering there is a chance I could work with any one of these people in the future, I would like to know and talk to them. I try to get people on board with what Im doing every now and again by word of mouth. But more than often they're simply not interested, or they say they are and than show no further interest, ask no questions or not tern up; now I've simply stoped asking. This wasnt to everyone ofcorse, so maybe I should start asking again, but a broader range of people. Hell, I probably seem like a wierdo to all of them, but if you dont ask you will never know. And not asking is worse than asking and being let down.

Not to mention the blogs, I feel like a moron for not writing more. I was never one to write. Maybe I need some sort of structure to my week, I still feel quite disorganised.

Self Asesment Preasessment

Tomorrow is assessment, big panic for most, however I am not in a panic. Why? Well that’s simple, I know I haven’t done all the work but even if I had done all the work, I have not done enough work. I realised this as I was painting with acrylics a few days ago. I paint like a child.

Why do I paint like a child in acrylics? Simple, I have not progressed with painting, since I was a child, which was the last time I had used them. I’ve decided that I have to paint atleast once a day, I’ve been quite happily painting in my kitchen while I make my dinner of days. Making an acceptation for it, even though I have a lot of other work, Ive found a weak spot and am trying to correct it.

Wait, why haven’t I progressed with painting since than? Simple, I haven’t done any since than. Thus, like a capsule of the past, I haven’t grown from when I was a child. It’s quite humbling and rather charming, I also feel the same when I see an adult draw like a child. Its not that they can’t draw, its because they haven’t drawn. I’ve also asked why I haven’t become a better artist since last year, the answer is obvious. There is no reason why I should not not the artist I want to be yet. But yet I am not half the artist I want to be. It seems to always be just out of reach, I always question why. But the obvious is usally the hardest to see. Its like your nose, its always there, you can always see it, but at the same time you don’t, your mind blocks it out.

Why havn’t I done all the work? Just the same as everyone else who hasn’t, a lack of devotion to becoming the artist I want to be, not to the course. In a sense the course is just a boat, where as I have to swim to where I want to be, the boat can only take me so far. Distractions are easy and offer an empty reward. Where as studying is hard and offers reward in the future. I’m a patient person, I like waiting for that reward as I know It will be sweeter than any other. But Im weak and there for opt for distraction. That’s why I havnt done as much work as I should.
The only real option for me is to rid myself of all distraction. I’ve been socialising a fair bit, which may have added to my lack of progress. Im not saying its bad that I’ve socialised, I was once a very bitter, depressed person, still being so, but a lot more relaxed about it, it was a good thing. Maybe I should have balance the two better. I don’t really care for playing games or listening to music, so why do I? Im not huge on going out and parties, so why do I? Why should I do things I don’t like? My work isn’t where I want it to be, so what am I going to do?

I digi-paint alot of things by my desk. Its just easier than moving my pc.

I shouldn’t have taken this long for me to realise what I had to do. The fucking work. And than some more.
Im going to do more than what is simply asked of me and its going to count.
After all, its what I want and its what I have to do to get it. I'll stop being a little pussy and take it. The only good quality I have is when I say I'll do something, I do it.

NSFW - Link to crappy artwork!

....Every now and again I, as an artist, look at others work, as we all should. Its a good thing to do, get some ideas, give some ideas. Even if the artist is better than you or worse, there’s always something you can say above the basic " OMG AWESOME " or " THATS SHIT ", you can always give a good, in-depth comment, that not only can help you understand their work better, but also help the artist with some different methods of going about their task in the future.

That aside. I also look at really, really bad art, just to cheer myself up. Lets not lie here, who doesn’t look at a terrible drawing and go " HAHHH ". If the artist is genuinely trying to improve, they probably wouldn’t have drawn this stuff in the first place. Now would they? No. But its also probably because they dont know how/too stubborn/anxious/lazy/ext to do the things necessary to improving. I look at some really awful work that some kids draw and its reminding me that I too once wanted to become a better artist, but didnt know how and drew these awful monstrosities. And that makes me look at them in a different light.

You just hang in there man, draw every day, make the dream happen you know.

But sometimes I also look at some people I hate (personally)who also want to try to become artists, and notice that they havnt improved at all in 3 or more years. Not a bit, still drawing the same shit. And that makes me happy, It shouldn’t because its out of spite. This is only one or two people I know.

UNTILL TODAY. I found a website with awful art, a collection of it if you will. Deviantart? No, but youre close, alot of it is from there.
If you want a good chuckle at terrible drawings, (Hah, I almost said art), I recommend:
http://fuckyeahterribleart.tumblr.com (NOT SAFE FOR WORK)
But seriously, the title says it all " WHY WOULD YOU DRAW THAT?! "

Seriously, this website, is not safe for work, but is so terrible, you cant even tell what the fucks going on half the time. Seriously, why did they draw that stuff? Why? I dont understand man, I dont understand.

Okay, if you have looked through that website by now. Let me remind you that the world is a beautiful place and being alive in a world full of strange and unique creatures is a good thing.

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY, TRISTAN?!

I said "The world is a awful place, because its filled with people who clearly dont like reality and wish to ruin it for everyone else. ".

And here is proof.

What the fuck are you doing?! Dont teach them to draw badly, they do that already!

Have a good day.

Games can do good. Even If they are shit. Apparently!

You're in for a ..... ride.... 

Yes, the greatest real life simulator ever created, but never published. It is the ultimate test of patience. It was made for a Pen and Teller game, where they just took the piss out of games in general. Although never published, it was leaked and became oddly popular.
The basic deal of this game is, you drive and bus with no one in it, with no oncoming traffic, forever, back and forth. Any attempt to pause the game sounds the horn (the start button), you cannot pull over, within 15 seconds a toe truck will come and take you back to the begining. You have to stay on the road, you cant leave beacuse your bus turns to the right, so you have to tap left every couple of seconds. And thats the game. After 8 hours of driving, you get one point. At 6 hours and 15 minutes, a bug will hit the windscreen. Thats all the action you will see.

This game has too much gore even for me.

How is this game popular? Maybe because it says so much about trying to emulate life perfectly in games. Who knows. Theres alot to take from such a simple, yet pain in the ass game. I dont think I'll go into the higher aspects of similicity and making something big out of it.

Sorry it's a bit loud, but thats because the game is so FUCKING HARD CORE!!

But some people have!  Now Im not one for helping other people, or caring. But Im just suprised that people are achualy doing this, with such a dick of a game. I think It has to be noted.
Desert Bus: For Hope. Is a charity based event (the 4th anual desert bus-off), that raises money to give hospitalised children games to play. Pretty touching. Well not really. But the fact of the matter is, people will play this god awful game for days, DAYS, non-stop. And get a huge cash pool going so others can play games when theyre sitting idle in bed. Pretty sweet. Too bad its american. But hay, who cares.
At the time of posting this they've been driving non stop for 14 hours. I could barely stand 15 minutes of video.
Not only do they play for insane amounts of time, they also live stream it, so you can get in on the, action? I dont know.
Check it out.
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/content/DesertBusForHope

Tristan's Review: Heavy Rain

Oh God, why is this game of such great graphics so BORING! OH WHYYY! AARGGGGHHHHH!
Its made mundane life more boring.
Id rather cut my own wrists than play this game again, however I now have a fear of a joy stick box apearing and telling me how to do it.
The graphics are lovely, the water effects, SUPER, however this doesnt compensate for really boring gameplay.
If I wanted an interactive movie, I'd shout at the fucking screen. And I do!
I want to slam my head against my wall, but thatd wake up my neighbour light sleeper friend, fuck everything.

OH.... Dont play it through in one run, like I attempted to do. Sorry should have cleared that up.

The Singularity Bullshit

Following on form my " In the future", which was stemed from watching something about the " Singularity ", I just think its bullshit right off the bat. This person has gone into some detail about it.
http://io9.com/5661534/why-the-singularity-isnt-going-to-happen
Its a nice read.

In the future

Ive been reading and watching a bit of recent about the future of technology. All these ass holes telling me and everyone else, " In the future! ", its became quite obviouse to me that it is a load of bull shit. People have been saying " In the future! " for years now, however looking at all of the images of what they imagined this future to be, it always seems to be half baked of the reality. Not only beacuse everything they imagined in the future looked stupid, but beacuse the futuristic ideas also look primative or something from The Jetsons.
I was watching Visions of the Future, Inteligant Revolution. Things like " Your sun glasses will download the profiles of people you see! ", such bullshit wouldnt be aloud to be made, " Your clothes (shirt) will monitor your health, phoning for help if you have a heart attack. " bullshit, maybe some kind of wrist band designed for military use, but I doubt some fat bastard's fat shirt will save him. I'll admit some things that seem out there are possable, but saying they will happen is a load of toss. These " In the future! " folk seem to forget about the human aspect of the world.

If I was a "In the future! " man, I'd say something people would achualy belive, like " In the future there will be alot more advertisment! Everywhere you go, on your clothes, before you log into the internet. Posably every 15-30 minutes an advertisment break on the internet would apear like on television, every object and thought you have will be the product of advertising! ". Alot more belivable than " Hurrr you can download yourself onto the internet, and uninstall yourself in a completely different country! "

Game artist not a Game Gamer

One thing that prys on my mind about my course is that, belive it or not, I am not a good gamer. Im terrible at games, I still like games, I love them to the core. Although when I play games it's pretty obviouse Im not good at them, be it table pool to Call of Duty, even throwing cards into a bucket is a bit of a pain for me, Im just casual gamer. So being in a class full of avid gamers, makes me feel out of place a bit. I'd be an idiot doing this course if all I did was play games, or I didnt play games at all. I mean I came into this course with a art portfolio and not a high score portfolio. It always seems to feel like I wont understand games the way the " pro gamers " understand them and maybe that puts me at a disadvantage. If I dont have the mindset of the gamer Im trying to build the game for, can I really fufill what they want? I enjoy these games, but not the same way they do, it seems. I dont mind dying or loosing in games, just as I dont mind making a fool of myself or loosing to someone younger or less experianced to me in real life. The pro-gamers (I call them this because theyre often not, but they play with such passion and know how to play to a high level. Or if theyre beeing a novice.) care about loosing, dying and being taunted. It makes me wonder if they care about the graphics of the game or the simple game mechanics of "Move > Shoot > Kill > 1 Point". If I took call of duty and reduced it to a 8Bit pong like game, but with all the stratagy and skill needed of Call of Duty, would they like it as much? Probably not, there needs to be some balance, but I know imagination can fill in the blanks in games.
As I said before, Im not a gamer. I would sit down and read the manual before playing the games and look at all the pretty pictures and character biographys. While my brother rammed the disc in and button mashed untill he learned the controls. It'll be interesting for me to find out what amount do what i do in my aproach to games, compaired to that of my brother and the other pro-gamers, not only that but to make games for such people.
I mean how many avid gamers achualy like the 8bit music that comes with old games? Or even opened the manual? Maybe I should just be happy Im not one of those guys that would rather defowl a corner of their room than leave their MMORPG for a minute. I guess that going to extreems. Either way, I'd rather draw or make someones head being shot off their sholders and capturing the moment rather than BOOM HEAD SHOT!